As you will no doubt have heard, the mighty Starflyer 59 have just released their 15th full-length studio album (not counting dozens of other releases–EPs, 7″ singles, limited edition vinyl, box sets, live albums, etc.) making them officially the most prolific Chrindie band who ever existed. Their stellar debut album, officially untitled but affectionately known as “Silver,” also turns 25 years old this year. You can read the IVM review of their latest “Young in My Head” here. The 15th album/25-year anniversary seemed too grand an occasion to let pass, so . . .
We’ve assembled over a dozen mini-reviews, tour memoirs and general comments of appreciation from IVM writers, well-known musicians, and a few mega-fans. Enjoy!
Special thanks to all of our contributors who took part in this momentous occasion. And even more special thanks to Jason Martin & co. for all the great music!
–Loyd Harp (IVM writer)
PS: Leave us a comment and let us know where and when you first heard the band. What’s your favorite SF59 album, story or live experience?
- Stephen Mark Sarro (Unteachers, Tantrum of the Muse, Stephen Mark Sarro)
Fan since: 1994
Favorite album: Silver
I will always remember when Tooth and nail records showed up on the scene. I was there from the beginning. It was a perfect storm of age, music, and Christianity all emerging in a creative way. I was 16 when I heard Starflyer 59’s debut, “Silver” and it was the very first time I heard heavy down tempo music used in a way that seemed to be more alternative than metal and hardcore. Those many layers of guitars, the tone, the sadness, it felt so urgent to me. From a production standpoint, they were completely original, ahead of the times, and their influences touched way beyond the Christian kids like myself. What I dubbed the “Gene Eugene era” of the band’s production and performance is what I love most, but honestly, they continue to put out great songs, simpler yes, but nonetheless excellently executed. SF was a huge influence on Tantrum of the Muse and Unteachers, even though it may not seem that way. What a blessing it is that I got to experience that band from the beginning, seeing them live on several occasions, talking with Mr. Martin in person, that all seems like another lifetime ago. A band with some of the wealthiest of fans (the vinyl collectors are seriously loaded) They have firmly earned their place in being one of the most essential bands in alternative music, and that is certainly the case for us Christians! I am happy Jason keeps writing and recording, what a rare gift.
2. Jeremy Alan Gould (IVM writer)
Fan since: 1994
Favorite album: Silver
I remember it like it was yesterday. Going in the Christian bookstore in Cumberland Maryland and buying Silver. I only knew of the band from a Heavens Metal ad for T&N. I remember my friend and Andy and I just looking at each other like what the hell is this? But in a good way. That record changed my life, and opened the doors to MBV, Slowdive, etc. The record never got the credit it deserved, but those that know it know where it belongs in the pantheon of music and shoegaze. I Still listen to it often and I still think, what the hell?
3. Brian Perceful (IVM writer)
Fan since: 1994
Favorite album: Silver
Has there ever been a cooler band, especially in the context of Christian music circles, than SF59? It’s a hard no from me. At a time when people tried to pass off White Heart and Newsboys to me as “cool” SF59 came along and brought the coolness. It was 1994 and I was given a dubbed cassette from a rad dude in Illinois. I literally wore that tape out. Being in Oklahoma, at the time, I didn’t know much if any about the underground scene. That all changed with SF59. My first Christian underground show I ever saw was The Choir, SF59, and Sixpence. 16-year-old me was forever changed that night. They made this Okie in flyover country feel cool as only Jason Martin could. SF59 was my gateway drug into the alternative Christian scene. I’m still addicted today. – Brian Perceful (IVM writer)
4. Joshua Lory (Lifesavers/LSU/Michael Knott, The Bloody Strummers, Cast the Dragon)
Fan since: 1994
Favorite album: Americana
Starflyer 59 “Americana” My brief history with Starflyer 59. I was a big fan of Dance House Children from the Blonde Vinyl Records days, after Blonde Vinyl ended, Michael Knott started the short lived Siren Records. In 1993 Dance House Children released their third album on Siren Records and Jason Martin had left the band, in the thank you of that album, Ronnie Martin mentioned Starflyer 2000 as Jason’s new project. That peaked my interest and shortly after that “Silver” was released, I was instantly hooked having already been a fan of bands like My Bloody Valentine, Ride, and the Pixies and I heard elements of all those bands in Starflyer 59. I met Jason and spoke with him on a few occasions touring for “Silver”, “Gold”, and “She’s The Queen”, I also used to write him letters pretty much begging him to let me join the band on bass! When rumors hit that Wayne and Eric of the Prayer Chain had joined on as the rhythm section of Starflyer, I could not wait to hear the next album. Wayne Everett to this day is my favorite drummer. Sure there are more skilled, technical players out there, but Wayne was all about feel and Eric was the first bass player I felt worthy of the band. “Americana” hit the shelves of my local Christian Book Store, I bought it the day it came out, popped it into my disc-man with cassette adapter in my car and grinned ear to ear at track one “The Voyager”! This album was the peak of what they were building up to with “Gold” and the “Le Vainqueur ” EP–those big Doom Metal (ala Black Sabbath) guitar riffs and drum fills were heavier and more present than ever. This is Shoegaze done American style, a rougher and tougher sound than what came from across the pond. The Gene Eugene production and keys set this album off to the next level–it’s raw, huge, and timeless! “Americana” remains one of my most listened to Starflyer 59 albums to date and a major influence on me musically.
5. Jafar Rafae Green (Silent Pictures, Mercy High, The Bang Girl Group Revenue)
Fan since: 1997
Favorite album: Americana
There’s several reasons why I picked this record when I could easily write about any of their first 7 records with the same amount of love & respect. But Americana is special to me, not only because it’s the first SF59 album I owned, but because it’s one of the many things that sums up how truly timeless their music is. By this time, I was a former purely CCM kid that had turned into a fan of the Christian underground over the past couple of years, & of course I was paying attention to almost everything T&N was putting out. Even though I had heard Housewife Love Song & didn’t get it, I was still drawn to this monochromatic red album & took a listen. It felt like one of the first times where I honestly loved something but I wasn’t sure why. Keep in mind at this point I hadn’t heard Loveless, Paranoid, Going Blank Again, Dopesmoker, Psychocandy or any other classic reference point and/or influence. Other than the fact that it had guitars, I had no frame of reference for this. All I knew was that it ruled, and it ruled hard. Still does. I was listening to The Hearttaker recently & I realized in the middle of all the beautiful synth swells that this song & this whole album informed my musical development & also continues to inspire & blow my mind every time I listen. Thinking back, I really had no choice—when you hear a song like The Voyager, especially when you’re a young guitar player, all you can think about is those riffs and how you wanna learn and live inside them. Speaking of riffs, The Translator and The Boulevard are proof that if Jason Martin really wanted to he could fully take advantage of this shoegaze/stoner rock revival we’re in & play festivals like Psycho Las Vegas or Levitation with this material and own it. And to me that’s the beauty of this band and this record—it’s made from a pure, unpretentious viewpoint that still sounds and feels fresh today. 22 years later we’re all still catching up to Americana.
6. Dustin Smith (Okay Lindon, Lute Student, Money House Blessing)
Fan since: 2002 (I bought Leave Here a Stranger in a bargain bin based on the cool album cover alone)
Favorite album: Everybody Makes Mistakes
In past interviews, Jason has described Starflyer as craftsmen and not artists. That claim seems pretty consistent with the 25 years of airtight releases which carefully carried out major shifts in the band’s sound. The rare glimpse of hearing Jason with his guard down could be why fans treasure this band’s B-sides so much. In the same manner, Everybody Makes Mistakes is a record I love because I could never quite figure out why I loved it so much. That was, until, I recently saw someone on an online fan group describe this album as a mess. YES! That’s it. I like to imagine the band coming off lots of shows to support TFF, too exhausted to craft a new groundbreaking record. Instead we’re given what almost feels a dark companion piece to TFF, where the band just kind of jams. Relatively speaking, the layers are minimal. This is the closest Starflyer will sound to a band who tries to translate their live-sound to the studio, having always been a band who’s tried to translate their studio-sound to their live shows. This is a special record and Gene’s fingerprints are all over it. So what’s the most appropriate way to end an album that is so laid back and flows so smoothly? Sax solo? Why not. Roll with it. Everybody makes mistakes.
7. By Chad Thomas Johnston (Author of a whimsical memoir titled Nightmarriage, eLectio Publishing)
Fan since: 1999
Favorite album: Everybody Makes Mistakes
Two months before the November 16th, 1999 release of Starflyer 59’s fifth album, Everybody Makes Mistakes, I intercepted an advance copy courtesy of a friend who loved Jason Martin’s music as much as I did. I copied the contents of the CD onto side A of a 90-minute cassette and added another album that was new to my ears at the time—Belle & Sebastian’s If You’re Feeling Sinister—to the flipside. That cassette soundtracked much of my senior year in college, and it kind of kills me that I have no idea where it is now. Twenty years later, Everybody Makes Mistakes remains my favorite Starflyer 59 album—and not just because it’s the only autographed vinyl I own by Mr. Martin. When I listen to it now, I’m struck by how effortless it all seems. Nothing feels overworked. All nine songs benefit from the combination of Martin’s no-frills songwriting and the restraint of producer Gene Eugene, who passed away unexpectedly four months after the record’s release. Both men have ears for embellishments though, too, so the songs are not without appropriate decorative flourishes. While I connect with all the songs, I have favorites: The piano-driven, harp-christened ballad, “20 Dollar Bills,” which could have been hokum in anybody else’s hands, but feels positively magical in Martin’s. “No More Shows,” with its wiry earworm of a guitar lead and its bounding drums. “Just Try,” with its woozy, wobble-kneed verses and its soothing balm of a chorus. My favorite, however—and the best entry in the Starflyer 59 songbook in my opinion—is the luminous “Going Places.” It achieves liftoff right away, opening with a hook that would make Johnny Marr proud—maybe even jealous; Martin employs it to marvelous effect throughout. The ending is awash in a quavering bath of keyboards and guitars—shimmering and teeming with musical life. The only mistake Martin makes here? Setting aside stellar session outtakes “Your Company” and “All Done Wrong” for the 7” that came with the LP version of the album and disc 2 of Easy Come, Easy Go, respectively. Apparently realizing that “Your Company” was album material after all, he course-corrected some eighteen months later, redeeming “Your Company” from the B-side slagheap and positioning it as the closer of Leave Here a Stranger. The moral of the story: Everybody Makes Mistakes, but Jason Martin learns from his.
8. Matthew Putman (Unwed Sailor, Bear Colony, Lovedrug, Ester Drang, Living Sacrifice, Norma Jean, Snailhuntr, Eso-Charis)
Fan since: 1994 (First album I heard was Silver, the week it came out, instant fan)
Favorite album: Leave Here a Stranger
I’ve always viewed the discography of Starflyer 59 as having three distinct eras…
Era 1: Debut thru “Americana”
Era 2: “Fashion Focus” thru “Leave Here a Stranger”
Era 3: “Old” thru present
The first era is characterized by the elements most people associate with SF59 to this day — Shoegaze-y post-rock with loud guitars, hushed vocals, fuzz, and distortion. For kids like me that were going through a shift to more faith-oriented music at the time, Martin and company were a dream come true. My devotion to bands like Cocteau Twins, My Bloody Valentine, Jesus and Mary Chain, Slowdive, and Ride had no end, and SF59 fueled my need for beautifully orchestrated chaos expertly. I became a lifelong fan after one listen to their self-titled debut. The second era sees a shift towards a wider sonic palette of layered melodic elements, plaintive vocals, and a jangly folk-pop influenced by Beatlesque production techniques. Not only did the songwriting take a giant leap forward, but the bandʼs use of reverb and noise also became more focused, turning their signature style of minimalist bombast into a multifaceted orchestra of aural exploration. The third era saw everything come into sharper focus for SF59 — the predilection for guitar and synth heavy compositions gave way to a wider exploration of melodic balance, the timbre and prominence of Martinʼs vocal performances morphed drastically, and the drums tightened, taking over a larger sonic space in terms of both volume and distinction. In the end, SF59ʼs musical journey followed a proper arc; a musical maturation that perfectly echoed the life journey of their listeners. And while my love for their entire discography is deep and varied, I can say without reservation that my favorite era is the second, ending with 2001ʼs “Leave Here a Stranger”. Ostensibly an album about being in a band and making records, “… Stranger” marks the delineation point between the care-free haziness of young adulthood and the specificity of middle age. Iʼve always found it fitting that Stranger was mixed in mono, drawing an even starker contrast between the subdued melancholy of era two and the immediacy of era three. Every sound comes at you from the center of the stereo field, an approach that brings blessings and burdens as the gorgeous orchestration begins piling up. But the aesthetic of the album never changes, staying strictly devoted to the signature rich atmospherics and moody tones that personify everything we know and love. The second era of SF59 goes out with a Big Bang. In my opinion, Martinʼs knack for personifying the feeling of melancholy using simple, layered melodies over rhythmic counterpoint is unrivaled in North America. We only encounter his particular brand of understated musical brilliance when we cross the pond. When itʼs all said and done, that might be Martinʼs greatest legacy.
9. Dustin Smith (Okay Lindon, Lute Student, Money House Blessing)
Fan since: 2002
Favorite EP: Can’t Stop Eating
This review is an ode to Joey Esquibel, the most underrated Starflyer member ever. I couldn’t waste a review on LHAS for that, so here I am. Did you ever see Joey live? Have you ever seen YouTube footage of Starflyer playing “I Drive a Lot” with Joey on the drums? The guy totally thumps and I think he really brought new energy to Starflyer’s live shows. At the same time, you can describe his drumming style as mature and tasteful and his contributions to LHAS are crucial. This EP debuts another stellar musician, Richard Swift, Frank Lenz’s buddy from Promise Keepers. Unlike Joey, Swift would eventually receive the attention and adoration he deserved for his exceptional talents. What a dream team. If I listed out all of my favorite Starflyer songs Compeating and West Coast Friendship would be right up there with the obvious classics. And, have you HEARD how understatedly tasteful the drums are on those tracks? Thanks Joey, wherever you are.
10. Will Croucher (Swine Suicide, Dr. Terror, Outlaw Ritual, Mortars)
Fan since: 1998 (I first heard the band on the Tooth&Nail Vol 1 compilation)
Favorite album: Old
As a long time listener it was definitely hard to pick which album to write about. Knowing that the earlier stuff would be fought over like a pack of wolves I went with a less famous release, “Old”. I think this time in his career he was in a transfer stage adopting much more poppy styles and even some big orchestral sounds. Being that the record is called “Old,” Jason Martin was looking to mature the sound that ultimately never left the band but transformed into other riffs and elements never used on SF59 records before. I noticed that some of the styles he uses stay with the group on a lot of future releases. My favorite part of this record is all the guitar work that seems to flow and whine over the tracks in a west coast manner. Jason had already started singing in a lower register but with how big the production is on this record the vocals still carry classic Starflyer 59 crooning and melodies. Whether he wrote this record to come to terms with age, state of the music industry, or just how he felt about everything in general it is a record all should hear and learn to appreciate the craft and skill behind this iconic band and their sound from the past, present and future.
11. Dustin Smith (Okay Lindon, Lute Student, Money House Blessing)
Fan since: 2002
Favorite album (2): Talking Voice Vs Singing Voice
When your favorite band releases 15 great full length albums, you have to start judging them by different characteristics to separate them. It’s not as easy as picking “the best” ones. There are two records that really grab my interest above the others because I am really intrigued and confused by the direction of the band. I’m not saying you can always peg a certain couple artists Jason was channeling for each release, but listeners could always sense what the band was going for. TVvsSV, is an album that just mystifies me. This album evokes late-night listens, hazy smoke filled rooms, the reflection of neon lights in rain-puddles on downtown streets. Wait a second…is this an early 60s jazz album? No, no its definitely not. But why does it feel like one? I’ve always said that if I could ask Jason one question it would be “What were you aiming for with this record? Or, what were you listening too when you wrote it? What words did you and Lenz use to describe the sound when you were assembling this?” I’ve actually talked to Jason a number of times over the years and I’ve never asked him about it. Maybe not knowing is better.
12. Zac Zinn (IVM writer)
Fan since: 2005
Favorite album: My Island
My introduction to Starflyer 59 came much later than most. 2005’s My Island was my first journey into alternative, indie, and what I would soon know to be “shoegaze.” The laid-back feel and effortless vocals weaved their way into my teenage ears and have never left. Although many will call Silver or other earlier records iconic and their favorites, My Island will always be the first album that comes to mind when I think of this incredible career of music.
13. Matt Crosslin (Editor of Down the Line magazine, curator of the Christian Underground Encyclopedia or C.U.E.)
Fan since: 1994
Chosen selection: Ghosts of the Future (vinyl box set)
In the pantheon of “World’s Coolest Music Box-Sets,” Ghosts of the Future has to rank up near the top. Out of nowhere, Starflyer 59 and Burnt Toast vinyl announced they would be creating this . . . event, where you would get two or three 7-inch vinyl records every other month. Each disc contained a demo from the upcoming Dial M release on the a-side, with an exclusive track, cover, or remix on the B-side. This was all contained in a wooden box – and all of the covers, box, and inserts had custom letter-pressed/embossed artwork on them (and they formed a larger picture if you put them together). Of course, Tooth & Nail had to come along and release the entire collection on CD as Ghost of the Past (much to some collectors’ chagrin), so it’s not like the songs are hard to find any more. But a fully intact color vinyl version is still a rare thing. You can easily find the songs if you want to hear the music. And there were some bold choices in the song list, but that is not what made this box-set special. The whole thing was sold as “like being in the studio with the band,” and sure enough fan interaction exploded online as each shipment hit mailboxes. None of us had any delusions that the band was reading all of our posts, but we still discussed and argued over each track as if we really did have some final say in the studio. I think there were even some motions floated to get some of the B-sides to replace the A-sides on the final album. The whole experience was a breath of fresh air into an album release cycle process that had grown a little predictable despite always being somewhat secretive. Fans would probably love to see the band take another swing at a Back to the Ghosts of the Future, but the word on the street is that the process of making this box-set was so difficult and deadly that those involved will never speak of doing it again. Or wait – was that difficult and expensive? My memory of those discussions has gotten foggy since then.
14. Stephen Garner Young (IVM writer)
Fan since: 1995
Favorite album: Slow
Jason Martin and company come together once again for his 14th album. Yes, I said 14. It’s short yet brilliant and simply titled Slow. Upon first listen of the opening track, you would think this album is setting the pace for a moody melancholy 8 song journey. Well, you would be wrong. Jason knows how to write songs that lyrically can lift you up and at the same time bring you down. He’s truly a master at keeping the listener guessing on each album. His first few albums were a heavy fuzzy guitar laden dreamscape and he later nestled into dreamy poppier shoegaze territory. shoegaze is a style that is rare in Christian music circles but Jason pulls it off brilliantly. Song two launches quickly into a bass line that will make your head spin. It’s poppy. It’s dreamy and it’s what songs should sound like. The keys are a stellar addition and layer nicely with the bass tone. Steve Dail is a veteran musician in the Christian scene and Jason’s go to point man. He has played on a few prior Starflyer albums. The album keeps the pace nicely and it has some typical mellow Starflyer moments in a few of the songs. Even the mellow moments are memorable and cannot be overlooked. Other than the brevity of this album, it’s one of my favorites thus far. I have to admit I can’t get enough of the bass lines on this album. Steve Dail shines and the rest of the players fall in line perfectly. I’m convinced Jason Martin can’t write a bad song. I think you’ll agree with me on this album. Also, go put song two on repeat. I just love when the whole band jumps in after the first few seconds of this song. Epic album but sadly too short so because of that I must give it a 4 out of 5. On a side note maybe Jason will release a few b sides from this album and I will feel as if I’ve won the shoegaze lottery.
15. Jeff Cloud (Velvet Blue Music founder/owner, Pony Express, ex-Joy Electric, ex-Starflyer 59)
Fan since: 1994
Favorite album: Young in My Head
My favorite Starflyer record varies from time to time, and the catalog keeps growing so more options become available. Of course I have nostalgia for the early records, and a sense of pride for the records I played on, but when it comes to a favorite, hmmm . . .? Most bands always make it to a 3rd, maybe 4th, or in rare cases a 5th or 6th record. SF59 just released their 15th record—15 of them! For that reason, I choose ‘Young in My Head’ as my fave. Tracks like ‘Hey, Are You Listening’, ‘Remind Me’, and ‘Cry’ are so strong, and after all this time that is really impressive. Jason and I basically grew up in our formative music years together, so the sound of the band is really just a conglomeration of all the bands we like, so it’s almost impossible for me to not like it. SF59 is unique in its own way, so, so, so many other bands have come and gone, but SF59 kept trucking. If the new record is indeed the swan song, it’s a glorious exit that is deserving of attention.
16. Brian Healy (Dead Artist Syndrome)
Fan since: 1994
Opinion piece: On Starflyer 59 and the Christian scene . . .
SF59 . . . I don’t remember anything they have done that wasn’t noteworthy. They could have gotten away with re-doing Silver over and over but instead chose to grow and progress in their work. Honestly, I was saddened how they got trapped in the ghetto of Christian alt. I think if they were a new band today they would have burst of out the gate as a mainstream artist, as their craft is/was so innovative it wouldn’t matter if they’re singing about Christ and faith or tractors. I find that itself a comforting blessing.
17. Jesse Sprinkle (Poor Old Lu, Dead Poetic, Demon Hunter, Morella’s Forest. Vekora, Blank Books, Kutless, Mike Knott, Starflyer 59, Dirt, Denison Witmer, Paul Wright, Luke Easter, MG The Visionary, The World Inside, and Subways on the Sun.
Fan since: 1994
Let’s go back a few years to the 16-year-old kid version of Jesse, in Seattle Washington USA. He had just signed his first record deal with his “childhood sweetheart” band Poor Old Lu.
Fast forward about a year, on tour in California…. Jesse meets two dashing young brothers with the surname of Martin. I was a big fan of Michael Knott and had followed his industry endeavors, so I was ever so slightly familiar with these fellas and their work as the Dance House Children. So when Starflyer 59 came to be, I had a point of reference. Plus, our A&R rep who signed Poor Old Lu was none other than Brandon Ebel of the Tooth & Nail empire.
The “Silver” album was finished and SF59 was planning their first tour. One thing led to another, and yours truly was picked to be the drummer, as Jason had played all the drums in the recording. A brief diary of this tour involves my first cigar on my 18th birthday (awkward at the time, but awesome in hindsight). Back in those days we listened to CDs in the van. There was a very heavy emphasis on The Smiths, who I already appreciated a lot. I also fell in love with Ride’s “Carnival of Light” album that Jason loved so much. It was quite the bunch of misfits on this “Christian Rock” tour. Looking back, it feels like these bands just barely fell under the radar of this category of music (including the opening band Wish for Eden). On this tour I rocked an extremely minimal vintage kit of Jason’s. To this day I think it helped influence me to really focus on how you’re playing and hitting the drums, not how many drums you can hit. I still get compliments on how big I can make a small kit sound. And my favorite tour memory by far is a moment in Florida. We were considerably behind schedule and late for a show, but we were also extremely hungry. Instead of grabbing fast food on the go, Jason decides to stop at The Olive Garden for a full-fledged meal at the restaurant. As a shyer, slightly more nervous version of me, I was partially amused but mostly uncomfortable about the situation. At the current moment I look back at it as an incredible epic feat, as we were asking for more bread sticks, we should have been at the venue an hour away loading in our gear for sound check. I’d like to think that moments like this helped shape and influence me to be the quirky and unapologetically awkward person that I am today. We ended up arriving to the show, as our set was supposed to start, heaving our gear on stage, playing our absurdly short “leave them wanting more” set, and moving along on our way. Another thing I learned early on from Jason. Don’t be long winded and give the people too much of what you do. Always leave them wanting more.
Now regarding Starflyer albums, I do have a couple favorites. (Not an easy task to choose of course). In the case of nostalgia, The Silver album would be my first choice, as it was my first encounter with the mysterious and wonderful sounds of Starflyer 59—that lovely and dark chunka-chunka drone that haunts the dreams in such an endearing way. But my other top choice would be “The Fashion Focus”. The reason for me is that it feels like the first time those influences of Jason’s that I knew so well, were evident in his songwriting. Which was a great feeling for me. To hear more clean guitars, and Brit-Rock style melodies was something that brought me back to the great memories of my first time traveling the country playing drums in a rock band. Thanks for listening.
Oh, and one insanely interesting and important “afterthought”…… In a way I credit Jason in being a part of the family of 7 that I have here in NY. I had recently met my wife of 22 years just before that tour. Jason in his not-so-subtle way had told me to ask Amanda out. I consider him to be very much of a no B.S. type of fellow. See I had been spending a good portion of my money on calling cards. (The wave of the future), and at night in the hotel rooms I would lay on the floor in between the two beds next to the phone, with a blanket over my head talking to Amanda, while trying not to bother or disturb Jason and Andrew. It was both adorable and pathetic! HAHAHA. But basically, I was too scared to ask her out, and he knew that I had feeling for her. Now the rest is history. Perhaps the entire story is better fit for sharing on a podcast someday. So there you go.