Based on the real-life events of 1:30 AM, January 20th, 2009 that occurred at Fischer Hall, I present to you my newest blog. This is one music playlist you should actually read, because if you get summoned out of your building at 1:30 into the negative-degree weather and, like me, care more about grabbing your iPod than about saving your life, you could be in serious need of some tunes to assuage your pissed-off demeanor. And I have them for you.

A Soundtrack to a Fire Alarm: Or ‘Songs I will play while hoping my school burns down to at least justify my shivering here.’

1. Ignite – “Let It Burn”: This is a raging, hardcore punk cut. And let’s face it: right now, you need to rage. You need to watch it all burn. So shout “Let it burn! Let it bleed!” along with Zoli and the gang, because as you do, you’re slowly beginning to accept your situation.

2. Bayside – “Sirens and Condolences”: Aside from the references to sirens in the title — and sirens will be in the air by this time as fire trucks speed toward your happy residence — this song is about finding meaning in pain. And you’re probably in pain, most likely from frostbite. You, like Anthony Ranieri, probably still “wonder when [you'll] finally understand, but as you sing it out, you’re coming a little bit closer.

Here there is a brief conversational interlude to celebrate the Steelers’ path to Super Bowl XLIII with a fellow diehard fan.

3. Billy Joel – “We Didn’t Start The Fire”: For obvious reasons. Plus, it’s really catchy in a lame glam-rock sort of way.

4. Blink 182 – “Going Away To College”: Yes, the college reference is nice. It’s also good to reflect on the fact that there are more important things in your life than avoiding dying from subzero temperatures, like awkward relationships with girls. But the real reason this song is on here is the opening line: “Please take me by the hand. It’s so cold out tonight.” You empathize, trust me.

5. Alkaline Trio – “Smoke”: Where there’s fire, there must be “Smoke.” (AHAHAHAHA. HA.) Seriously, this song begins to accept blame for the problems in life (“I wish I don’t wish I still smoked”), while then pleading to those around, “Take me home, tuck me in.” As all you’re thinking about right now is bed (and maybe music), this seems very appropriate. Plus, the soothing yet driving tones as you reenter the building signify your appreciation at finally being let inside tinged with both anger (I can’t believe this happened) and fear (What if there is a fire and I go inside only to die?). That sort of lack of resolution keeps the viewers on the edge of their seats for a sequel that will hopefully never come.

At this point, the film ends abruptly.

Griffin Klemick is a student of philosophy and theology at Wheaton College (IL). He is a staff writer for IVM, mostly because he is too postmodern to make friends off of the Internet. He is currently watching Stardust. He reminds most who meet him of a werewolf due to extremely shaggy hair and a gruff, monosyllabic conversational style. He is currently putting together a band to perform as “Free Radio Palestine.”

*Disclaimer: This blog is the expressed opinion of Griffin Klemick and does not necessarily reflect the opinion of any other person connected with Indie Vision Music. Any concerns, questions, or love letters can be directed to the author via email here. For example, if you are thinking to yourself right now, “Griff, it’s taking you longer to review Anathallo’s new CD than it took Axl to write not only Chinese Democracy but all the Guns n’ Roses releases combined!” you should totally write me an email and tell me that so that I can feel more awesome while ignoring you. Indie Vision Music bears no liability for Axl Rose’s atrocious haircuts, except where required by law.*